Central Park by Yasmin

I pulled the sheet off of me and slowly opened my eyes.
O.M.G.! I just remembered its squirrel day! I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. My toothbrush started to sing as I put it in my mouth I pushed it around and spit it out. I brushed my hair and put my clothes on. I ran to my grandma’s room.
“Grandma, you’re still sleeping! Until you get ready I’ll go to the kiosk and get some nuts. If we get to Central Park late there will be a lot of people and the squirrels will get scared easily.”
I slammed the door behind me and ran to the kiosk. Then I bought the nuts and ran back.
“Grandma, are you ready now?”
“Yes I’m ready but an old lady can’t run! Be patient.”
“Fine, I’m just really excited! You know I love feeding squirrels, so let’s get moving!”
We had to slowly walk to Central Park but we finally got there. The first thing we saw was two chubby squirrels. I named one Chubby and the other one Chubs. We threw a handful of nuts. Then they impatiently stuffed their faces and nibbled.
“Grandma, the squirrels got fed, so now can we eat pancakes?”
“OK, but promise you won’t run.”
“I promise.”

7 thoughts on “Central Park by Yasmin

  1. Dear Yasmin,
    That was a really great story! I loved the way that you painted a picture in my mind, and how you even included some humor, like when you said “I’m an old lady, be patient!” or when you told us about how you named the squirrels “Chubby,” and “Chubs!”I enjoy having you as a friend, and hope you come up with some more fantastic stories!
    Maggie 😀

  2. Yasmin,
    I loved your story because of the humor and detail. As Maggie said, I liked how you named the squirrels. I also like that the reader can understand the characters’ traits by their actions. Great job!

    1. Dear Ann Marie,
      What super, helpful feedback you wrote in this comment! I love the way that you name the specific elements that make this writing work for you. Comments like this help writers to grow! Well done!

  3. Dear Yasmin,
    I loved how you used lots of dialogue in your story and how you made it funny. Keep up the good work, Yasmin.
    Your Friend,

  4. Dear Yasmin,
    Your story was really nice and interesting! I enjoyed reading it and I liked that you put humor in your writing.

  5. Dear Yasmin,
    I liked your story, because it had a lot of detail and description and humor.I also wish that you can write another great story like this one and put it up in the 5th grade blog.

    Your friend,

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